This Can’t Be Good: Tetris Movie


Every year there is a movie in the works that makes you scratch your head and wonder why. That movie this year is Tetris. Yes, that Tetris. The one you played in the 80’s and 90’s to kill time and boredom. The only thing this movie is likely to kill is brain cells and my faith in the direction civilization is going.

The producers are calling this a sci-fi thriller that will be a trilogy. I understand lucrative dreams. I totally thought for years I’d be a movie star. But then reality sets in you realize there’s no way in hell Tetris is going to be a successful trilogy.

Sci-fi thriller? There’s a few thrills to be had when playing the game. Like when you’re about to fill the screen but then the piece you’ve been waiting for to fill a huge hole that clears 4 rows shows up. In fact, I’d much rather play the game then show up to this movie and hope it isn’t horrible.

Who sat at home or at the office and was like “you know what story I want to see told. Tetris!” And nobody was like “What story? We try to fit the blocks together. Then we put the gameboy down and carry on with our days.”

Are the blocks now space ships manned by aliens and they’re here to crash the blocks into earth. Please do not make that movie. If you’re going this crazy, please think really, really outside of the box. You want to throw $80 mill away, let’s do it big!

Battleship sucked and we all saw that coming. This is totally another Battleship. There’s no way this can be good.

Later Gator